Rules is rules, especially when you're addicted to daytime TV...

It’s been a while - this is not good - my Luxembourg international challenge has only just started and already I’m getting distracted. I blame women, work, beer, paninis, women and Neighbours. Not necessarily in that order.

But fear not, I’m back, raring to go and ready to set some ground rules. They’re important to me you see because given half a chance I’m very, very lazy. For example I just got home after an early shift with loads to do but instead of getting on with it I just watched an hour of Channel Five’s afternoon movie. When the main character lost her husband, straight after the death of her dad, brother and best friend even I knew it was time to turn off.

I can’t imagine Steve Bull sitting down to watch crap like that on his plasma. If I’ve got any hope of becoming an international I need discipline, boundaries and rules, just like Bully… 13 caps don’t lie!!

So how’s it going to work?

Well I’ve made a list (how exciting am I?). It contains all my favourite sports in an order of preference. Number one is my favourite and the first sport that I will look to too achieve my dream.

The easy option would’ve been to try to become an international in some minority event like tiddlywinks but there’s no glory in that. I’m doing this properly, with the sports that I really love.

At number one of course it’s football. Boring I know but there’s no argument. They say men think about sex every six seconds - I think about football every 3 seconds. I could be involved in the most exciting conversation in the world but although I’m nodding and pretending to be interested, I’m really deciding whether Simon Grayson or Gary Mills would start at right back in my all-time Leicester City XI.

Number two is cricket, which is quite topical at the moment because I’ve just realised that my day off this week falls on the first day of the Ashes. That means I’ll be watching most of the play from Cardiff, probably in my pants – unless there’s a good movie on Channel Five that is.

At three it’s a re-entry for rugby. As a kid I loved the sport and Rory Underwood was my idol. Not only did he score tries for fun for England and of course Leicester but he also flied jet planes for Christ’s sake.

I’ll leave it as a top three for now, even though I reckon I’ll have to go down a long list of sports before I can eventually achieve my goal. But these are the rules and I’m sticking to them. The first sport I’ll try to represent Luxembourg in is football. Then if (and when) I fail it’ll be cricket and so on.

So here goes - the challenge begins. And by the way it has to be Simon Grayson… sorry Millsy!